…and probably at the end too…
It was late…and it was getting later…My life was careening down narrow windy roads completely in the dark and constructed by blind corners…Careening is a subjective motion…You can feel it standing still if you’re dizzy...But when you feign control careening is fun...
...sitting next to the Almighty Kelly O’Brien it was intense….
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This is the story of a 24 y/o GWF who grew up wanting to be Johnnie or Roy who then grew up and met Kelly O’Brien… who was way cooler than Johnnie or Roy could have ever hoped to be… and suddenly it all made sense…There is no feeling more liberating than the realization that one has stumbled upon their destiny… Now I’m scared to think where else I could have turned up…There are so many fine lines in life…friend-lover…lord-devil…blah blah blah…and you can end up in the strangest of places for a 16th of a degree’s difference in fate’s line…I was a 16th of a degree away from a life as doomed whiskey tango… Now I don’t believe there is anywhere else to be…anywhere else would not be as true... I thought I was applying for a job…what I got was a new perspective…I began to see life for what it isn’t….I saw it from the bottom up…I liked the view…In fact...I have grown afraid that they might try to take it away from me and if they did I don’t know what I’d do…
...ours is not a profession…it is a religion...
...ours is not a profession…it is a religion...
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...and I think all religions are basically the same…They all teach that the world sucks and it’s because evil kicks good’s ass…The only chance good has is the Gods…The Gods who have the right to say anything they want because whatever they want is right...
...they are Gods and that’s what Gods do...
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I believe in the God of EMS…he is a he right now…but Kelly O’Brien is giving him a good run for his money… I’m able to believe in the God of EMS because I have seen him in action… This is a god who can be fair... sometimes he just chooses to be a bastard…However…fair is fair and at least he doesn’t care if you call him a bastard when he deserves it…
…I don’t know how Kelly will feel about being called a bitch…^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The God of EMS operates on certain rules...I share them as I figure them out or as they are shared with me…only a few are allowed to the inner sanctum…Ariel taught me my first rule…be careful what you wish for…because you will get it...Like if you wish for a code because you’re bored you’ll get a pedicode…and for some strange reason looking at a dead kid and knowing you wished for it kinda sucks...Ariel also explains that there’s a special Angel for drunks...kids and EMTs…Sometimes I think Ariel is my Angel…I mean with her by my side I have carried a lot of drunks…cried with a lot of kids and drank with a lot of EMTs...
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Ours is a religion passed through stories told well…you are taught respect…respect for yourself…respect for your patients…most importantly respect for learning…One reason we share the rules as we figure them out is because nobody knows all the rules yet…maybe collectively we can come up with a complete set…Dark nights are the best time to learn...Sit next to the almighty Kelly O’Brien in florescent truck stops…under the neon glow of the light bar...and listen to her as the stories pour out…They tell our history…a history loaded with heroes…leaders...goats and devils…
All religions have a book that explains the rules…the book also outlines punishment for failure to comply…Some people might think regional protocols are our bible…but they’re not…we have no such book… because no one can tell you how to feel holding a dead baby…sometimes it just gets to you and no one holds it against you if you go home and stay there...So like any good religion…guilt is all the punishment we ever need...
...bless me Hoppy for I have sinned…
So now I’m going to tell you some stories...parables if you will...and this is how they came to be... I listened to all their stories…I lived a good portion of them myself…I paid attention to the details…I remembered how everything felt… Everything you read is true…it happened to somebody…if you can feel it you know how we felt…
...we’re just people too…^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It’s scary when you realize that somewhere along the line you sold your soul to the devil…We all heard the story and we all know how it ends…you enjoy the promised ride and then get pissed because the ride doesn’t last forever …yet we fall for it every time…Sometimes when I’m really enjoying some sick thing I get to work with I wonder “...why am I having so much fun…how did I get lucky enough to be here...” …I always forget the part about how much it’s going to cost…Some kids sell their soul to get backstage at a rock concert…I sold mine to get behind the tape on crime scenes…to approach the bench for the Commonwealth and to witness autopsies with homicide detectives…
....and the chance to work with Kelly O’Brien…
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